The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
