I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
