I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
