Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
