Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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