The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
