Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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