nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
