He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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