I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
try to milk me bitch
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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