why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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