Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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