i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
