hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
