im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
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On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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