But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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