If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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