No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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