Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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