When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
