enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
