I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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