Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
