UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
