Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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