Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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