Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Less talking, more tequila
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
