I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
