Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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