my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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