just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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