i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do herpes really smell.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
