i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
