I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
