from now on my penis is your penis
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
