You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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