hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
high people should be assigned attendants
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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