Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
someone owes me an orgasm
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
