Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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