the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
