It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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