I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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