oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
