If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
