Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
