Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
