dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
