They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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