it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
