That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
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I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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