Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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