If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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