Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
