Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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