It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
