I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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