I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
