I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
