I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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