Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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