Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
