Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
