its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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