Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
