It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
